| Missing the Romance |
I miss romance. I miss passion. Two things that are such a huge part of who I am. The best ways for me to express myself. Both are lacking. Everything is responsibility and I feel like I have been married for 15 years instead of in a young relationship. We skipped the fun part. I guess that's what happens when you fall deeply in love with a man with children. He isn't a romantic man and he isn't passionate. But it is the most honest and healthy relationship I have ever been in. I don't regret it but sometimes I feel like I need to explode. To be ravished, to be romanced, to invoke beautiful and lovely words. I want to marry this man. He means the world to me. I couldn't imagine living with out him. But that doesn't mean that sometimes things aren't missing. It doesn't take money just some thought and creativity. Just a gesture. A forehead kiss. An embrace. A little note. Being pushed up against a wall. A flower. An adventure. Candles. A word. Is it so much to ask for?
So I guess when I am needing a little something I can go back and read these pieces that were written about me or I was inspiration for. Sometimes I miss those days.
The Poet and The Courtesan
The Poet and The Courtesan faced the world together,
The forces of society arrayed against them forever,
Separated by oceans and mountain heights,
Battered by ancient pains and imagined slights,
They pledged themselves each to the other,
And set off to find their own home.
The Poet and The Courtesan travelled the foreign lands,
Faced polar winds and shifting sahara sands,
The Poet romanced The Courtesan on the high seas,
She danced for him under shimmering green arcadian trees
Inspired The Poet sat and sang along,
Of Love and Hate, this was his song.
"Oh run away with me, my dear,
Show me love is stronger than fear,
Rescue me from suffocating mediocrity,
Slipping into patronising hypocrisy,
Save me from the worst part of me,
Oh darling, run away with me."
The Poet and The Courtesan glimpsed the sun born again,
Witnessed the Phoenix rise from ashes and the pain,
Got lost in the labyrinth with a lonely minotaur,
Scaled mountain peaks where the golden eagles soar,
Inspired The Poet began to sing along,
Of Love and Hate, this was the song.
"Oh run away with me, my dear,
Show me love is stronger than fear,
Rescue me from suffocating mediocrity,
Slipping into patronising hypocrisy,
Save me from the worst part of me,
Oh darling, run away with me."
The Poet and The Courtesan opened a teashop in the countryside,
Filled with worldly memories far and wide,
With refrains The Poet entertains the passing guests,
With passion The Courtesan does fashion food as he rests.
"Oh run away with me, my dear,
Show me love is stronger than fear,
Rescue me from suffocating mediocrity,
Slipping into patronising hypocrisy,
Save me from the worst part of me,
Oh darling, run away with me."
And from another-
I love you.
I should have said it earlier. I should have said it
when you said it to me that night (if indeed that was what you said and
not some trick of my imagination). I wasn't sure I heard you right, and
I'm still not. And even if I had been sure, I probably would have been
afraid to say it back. I didn't know if what I was feeling was love. I
wasn't sure of it until you told me we couldn't be together. I honestly
meant it when I said I would be okay with it if your answer was no. Or
at least I thought I did - I didn't expect to feel like someone had
stolen the air from my lungs. And I didn't expect to still be unable to
catch my breath this long after the fact. But by that time it would have
been inappropriate to say all this to you. Of course, it still is
inappropriate. But, gods damn it, it's the truth, and I need to say it
more than I need to pretend that I care what is appropriate.
I
love your eyes - mysterious and deep as the ocean. I love how they gleam
like sunlight reflecting off the water when you grin. I want to drown
in your eyes. And your smile! I never knew that such sweetness and such
mischief could coexist, and all in the space of a moment. I love your
kindness. I love the fact that there doesn't seem to be a judgmental
bone in your body. I love your creativity - I want so badly to taste
your cooking, and I love your beautiful dresses. I love your poetry -
not just that which you formally call poetry, but the poetry in every
word you speak or write. You have a gift for language - you are a born
poet. I love your silver laughter. I love the fluid, graceful way that
you always seem to move. I love your connection with nature. I love the
fact that music can move you to tears. I love the fact that you walk in
the rain with no umbrella. I love your spontaneity, how I never know
what you are going to do next. I love your sense of humor and the fact
that you aren't afraid to be silly. I love the fact that you seem to
understand things about me that no one else ever has. I love how, when
we were open with each other, we seemed able to read each others' minds
sometimes. Or, more to the point, we were both thinking the same things
at the same time. If that's not chemistry, if there's no spark in any of
that, then I don't know what love is. |
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Name: An attempt at life...
Home: Portland, Oregon
About Me: I am a very easy going person and I love the beauty in life. I love to stop and smell the roses so to speak and wish I lived in a culture where that was more important. I love to laugh and have a good time!
See my profile...
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Brushes by Gvalkyrie
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posted by An attempt at life... at 