Monday, January 31, 2011
I hear the voices of my loved ones through the fog. Every time I reach for them all I find is emptiness. Teasing me with love and warmth and yet leaving me alone and empty. Closed off from everything good and left naked to the cruelty and hurt in the world. Memories and feelings that eat away at my hope. Dragging me further and further down that dark road. I am screaming for help but the words never make it out from between my lips. Begging for mercy. But the fog senses its long lost friend in me. The darkness that has been hidden deep inside that is whispering its haunting seductive song. It wants to be free to eat away at all of my defenses. Turning them against me. Each day the fog creeps closer and closer until its all I can breathe. Each breath poisoning me against myself. Eating away at my strength. Searching for my weaknesses. Feeding the doubts and insecurities until there is nothing to fight back. The darkness breaks free drowning me. Turning everything black until there is no will nor desire to fight. Silence descends and there she reigns.
posted by An attempt at life... at 10:34 PM - 0 comments
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Who Am I?
Who am I? That is a hard one for me to define. I am not defined by the things I do or say but the way I feel. I am not a writer. No matter how hard I try I can never transfer my feelings and thoughts from my head to a piece of paper. They lose power and passion somewhere in between.

I am someone who lives in a time and place that doesn't suit me. I don't think I will ever fully know who I am for I am constantly changing. Things that will never leave me are my passion for the things I love as well as the strength to make it through anything life puts in front of me. I am full of weaknesses and imperfections. But I embrace those. I prefer people that do as well. No one is perfect. Where is the fun in that?

I dream about being a mother. It may seem silly but it is my greatest goal in life.

I have a fear of being a failure in life and at times I am kept up at night thinking of ways to make the things I want happen. To be honest all I really want to do with this life is do something I am passionate about. I don't need to make a lot of money or own a lot of things. I need my family and friends and to constantly have challenges and people pushing my limits. I don't want life to be easy. I want to deserve my life and the people in it. I don't value the same things that most people do.

I am me.
posted by An attempt at life... at 6:36 PM - 0 comments
About Me
Name: An attempt at life...
Home: Portland, Oregon
About Me: I am a very easy going person and I love the beauty in life. I love to stop and smell the roses so to speak and wish I lived in a culture where that was more important. I love to laugh and have a good time!
See my profile...

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